Saturday, August 8, 2009

#5 of 10

Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk...I know, I've got one thing on the brain. But, it's helping. It's helping when I talk about "it". I went on a spontaneous trip up to my grandma's cabin today with the three youngest kids.

On my way back I accidentally called a sister-in-law today. LOL (Hi E) I'm so glad I did. We had a conversation that not too many people generally do. And...we understood each other. She got it. Somehow it's therapeutic to be able to talk about "it". It's a secret life that you put up with and can't run away from as much as you try.

After dumping, I mean gently tucking the children in bed, I too collapsed in bed. Although it's been a long day and I'm pooped, I'm up again. Up with a sick baby and posting my homework. As I do my homework it gets me thinking. I'm very strong in my faith. I know God loves me and wants the best for me. These faithful thoughts aren't to get me more "active". They're to help my mind understand the real power source. They're to help my mind separate and then discard my negative thoughts because somehow they're running rampid in my head. It's not an overnight fix. Today I struggled a little. But I know I'm on my way.

Hang in there with me. I'm only going to ten. I received an email tonight from a dear friend that I've thought the world of ever since I met her in fourth grade. She too understands "it" and has been thinking about me. I appreciated it more than she'll ever know.

Thanks again for all your support, thoughts and prayers. And...I'd be a fool if I didn't think that my name's been in the temple somewhere. I can feel it. Love you.

That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light will grow brighter and brighter until the perfect day. -- Doctrine & Covenants 50:24


Em said...

I love the number posts!! Keep them coming girl!

Erika said...

Thanks for the chat. I am glad you called by accident! And it is good to talk.