Well, I'd much rather be sleeping but it's 2:00 AM and I'm blogging. This time I really am thinking and probably couldn't sleep anyway.
I feel so stupid for my post I wrote this morning/yesterday. I have felt dumber and dumber through out the day as I have continued to learn more about comparing. I mentioned that I don't compare most things. Like I know better to compare with vacations, salaries, clean homes, etc. You never know how people are spending their money, what their priorities are, if they have five cleaning ladies, they inherited tons of money and have no family left, etc. I know not to compare to other people's physical traits. We have different genes. Too bad it takes you so many years to realize that one.
Anyway, the thing with comparing is that it is so misleading. We are so quick to forget. It doesn't lead to anywhere good. I compare myself with my siblings because we have the same genes. So we should be the same right? WRONG. Says who? Or is that says whom mom?
Throughout the day I have continually been taught and reminded by the Spirit of different things. I am embarrassed that I would have said that I was the sibling with all the physical stuff. Without really even thinking about things today I have been reminded of instances where both my sisters and brothers have gone through things where they could have easily compared themselves to me. I have had children without any problem; fertility and physically. My children have been born healthy. I can run without being afraid I'll die. I'm not the only one who has had surgeries. All seven of us children have had different trials, physically even though we are the "same". Isn't that amazing that Satan can do that to us? Make us quick to forget, to compare, to ultimately bring us down. That's what it is.
As much as I'd like to delete the earlier post, it's a good reminder of the things that I've learned. That I'm not done learning yet. My missionary doesn't come home for TWO more days. I could still learn a lot by then. And then there are my children. I want them to see that I am still learning and that they can learn from me with real situations. I've always said that I like to keep things real around here. If not, people would compare to me thinking I have the glorified life. I am very fortunate, but I have things like everybody else.
To my brothers and sisters that read my earlier post. I am sorry. You probably read it while rolling your eyes or your eyebrows raised wondering what the heck is she complaining about. It's part of my learning process so please forgive me. I love you.
To my children. You are the same but will always be different. You are unique and there is only one of you out there. Don't ever compare yourselves with each other. You all have different personalities and talents. You will all encounter different challenges and trials in your life. Go forward with faith and rely on the Lord. You have been given much. Always be grateful for what you have. Remember that happiness is wanting what you have.
ITP-a year later
2 months ago