Friday, March 20, 2009

I'm gonna miss this

Thank goodness for those runs I've had lately. First of all, I need to say that I USED to be able to go for an hour run. I'm working up to that again.

The song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Atkins came on while running the other morning. Such a great song. It seemed even better since I was by myself out enjoying the gorgeous weather.

Last week I did a lot of crying. Once I wanted to just get on here and say, "I just want to cry today", but thought that would bring on a lot of worrying and questions.

When I heard the words to the song, it made me think differently of things. I've been overwhelmed by messes, personalities, worrying about children, the yard gone to pot, unfinished bedrooms, etc. You know, just stuff. Well, a cousin came over this week and told me that someday I would miss my little girls' messes everywhere. My necklaces all over the floor, the tupperware cupboard torn to shreds, frosted flakes covering the floor several times a day. I wondered how in the world could I miss that? I can't even imagine the day that I don't have to sweep several times a day.

It's not all about the messes. Good grief. In six weeks there won't ever be another baby bottle on my counter. That means that all seven of my children have grown and I no longer have any infants. C will be gone in just less than three years. Have I really enjoyed and soaked up these past sixteen years with him? Do my kids know that I enjoy this thing called being a mom? Do I portray that? Man, now I just want to bawl. I don't know if I do. Somehow I need to find a balance of teaching and rearing my children and enjoying whatever is thrown at me. Not just enjoying, but portraying. Because someday...I'm gonna miss this.

1 comment:

Cheri said...

Tonia, I know it's difficult being a mom. I think all moms would agree. You are entitled to a good cry now and then. It's important to remember that the job as a mom isn't always the most glamorous but it is the most rewarding. You have a beautiful family and Im sure you know that. remember we can never get time back. It is gone before you know it. Bedroom remodels can wait. The growth of our kids doesn't wait.

When you feel overwhelmed RUNNING is the best RX.. :)