Thank goodness for those runs I've had lately. First of all, I need to say that I USED to be able to go for an hour run. I'm working up to that again.
The song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Atkins came on while running the other morning. Such a great song. It seemed even better since I was by myself out enjoying the gorgeous weather.
Last week I did a lot of crying. Once I wanted to just get on here and say, "I just want to cry today", but thought that would bring on a lot of worrying and questions.
When I heard the words to the song, it made me think differently of things. I've been overwhelmed by messes, personalities, worrying about children, the yard gone to pot, unfinished bedrooms, etc. You know, just stuff. Well, a cousin came over this week and told me that someday I would miss my little girls' messes everywhere. My necklaces all over the floor, the tupperware cupboard torn to shreds, frosted flakes covering the floor several times a day. I wondered how in the world could I miss that? I can't even imagine the day that I don't have to sweep several times a day.
It's not all about the messes. Good grief. In six weeks there won't ever be another baby bottle on my counter. That means that all seven of my children have grown and I no longer have any infants. C will be gone in just less than three years. Have I really enjoyed and soaked up these past sixteen years with him? Do my kids know that I enjoy this thing called being a mom? Do I portray that? Man, now I just want to bawl. I don't know if I do. Somehow I need to find a balance of teaching and rearing my children and enjoying whatever is thrown at me. Not just enjoying, but portraying. Because someday...I'm gonna miss this.
Being in Charge at Two Years Old
7 months ago