Monday, July 18, 2011

On the Lord's time

Tonight for family home evening we watched something that was on 20/20 not too long ago.  It was about a legal drug called "bath salts".  We had another really good discussion about avoiding all drugs and anything that could potentially become addictive. 

Afterwards, we were reading the Book of Mormon together where we read about pride.  We pointed out to the boys the dangers of pride and how easy it is to become prideful.  We talked of comparisons, thinking you're better than, what you have is better, being proud of your children, and being able to do things without any Heavenly help.  C pointed the latter one out and we really discussed it.  The fact that we have to be humble and realize that we can't do and have all that we have by ourselves.  That brought up a story that I hadn't even shared with D today.  So, I did.

This morning, C and I darted out to the health department to get his TB test done for his mission.  This would be our fifth attempt at getting it.  It seems as though we have no luck getting this last requirement done.  The offices either don't do the test, have just closed for the day, or don't take our insurance.  With all of my travels lately, we've had an even harder time fitting it in on the days that places do do it.  So, today was going to be the day.  We were going to have the follow up test done on Wednesday, followed by a call to the bishop for an interview that night.  C had already decided this morning that he would fast tomorrow so that he might get with the stake president for his final interview on Sunday.  Done.  Ready to push "send" on Monday night.  Leave for his church history tour on the 26th and come home three weeks later eager to open his mission call with friends and family. 


We got to the clinic this morning, waited in line and then realized we didn't have C's identification on him.  So, we turned around and made the twenty minute drive home, grabbed his wallet and headed back to the health department eager to check off this last little detail.  We checked in again, paid the cashier and went back to the nurse.  He was called in quickly and asked if he had had any immunizations in the last month.  He told her that he had received the chicken pox vaccine.  After doing her math, she turned to us and said that he couldn't get his TB test done until the 28th.  I just stood there.  I told her that he was flying out on the twenty sixth for three weeks.  Knowing what that meant, we turned around and I headed to the cashier with tears welled up in my eyes.  It was a long and quiet ride home. 

When we arrived home, I dropped C off and told him that I would be back in a minute.  I drove around the corner to a friend's home.  She wouldn't answer the door or her phone.  I called her cell and she finally answered.  After asking her how she was doing after sending two of her children on missions just this past Wednesday, she asked me how I was doing. 

I sobbed as I told her that I just needed to cry and that I was sitting on her front step with my back against her door.  I told her of my frustrations and the many stupid trips I had been making across town for this TB test.  Telling her that I felt like I did when I was nine months pregnant and how you just want to wear a sign on your shirt saying when your due date is.  That's how I'm feeling about this mission call.  Everyone is excited and curious and always asking. 

I sat on the right front porch today.  My friend reassured me that Heavenly Father is aware of C and knows his intentions.  Just because things haven't been submitted like we thought they would have been, doesn't mean that anything has changed.  C will still go where Heavenly Father wants Him to go.  He will still learn the same language if he is to do so.  He will go when he is supposed to go.  I felt better after talking to her.  I had just needed to cry out my frustrations to someone and I had called the right person.

I hadn't thought anymore about it for the rest of the day.  I'm realizing what that is right now. 

So, back to family home evening and telling the family this story.  As I was telling them this, I suddenly realized that I had been prideful.  That I was determined to get this mission call when I wanted it.  I had been humbled this morning.  How silly.  How silly to think that I could know more than my Heavenly Father and His timing for my son to go out into the world to spread the gospel of His son Jesus Christ. 

I'm grateful that I was able to be the "latter day" scripture story for my family this evening.  I'm thankful for the humility that is required from me.  I'm okay with everything now.  There's no rush.  It will happen.  C will go on his mission.  On the Lord's time.  I wouldn't have it any other way. 

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