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Monday, February 27, 2012

Adoption....it's about love

For years D wanted to adopt.  I wasn't interested and didn't quite buy into it seeing how we were able to have our own biological children.  I felt like I was "robbing" a baby from someone that couldn't have children, worried that I might not love an adopted child as much as my own biological children, or disappointed that they wouldn't look like us, have our same mannerisms or similar talents.

It wasn't until I was pregnant with little g, and after finding out that I would soon have my fifth boy that I felt good about the idea.  I called D at work one day and told him that I felt good about it.  He was shocked and asked, "Really?"  I reassured him about my decision.  I told him that I hadn't had a spiritual experience or anything, but that I felt at peace about it. 

We got on it right away.  Over the course of the next several months we spoke to the people we needed to speak to, filled out all of the required applications, did our background checks, had our home checked and everything else that goes into adopting.  It was a lot of work.  But we grew more excited as time went on and were happy as we were checking things off of our to do list. 

I was just over four months along pregnant with little g when we had our first meeting with the adoption agency.  I remember sitting there not even feeling silly that I was pregnant and wanting another baby too.  It felt so normal.  I explained our situation and how I so dearly wanted to adopt a baby.  I cried as I expressed my deepest feelings about the matter.  I truly wanted to adopt a baby.  I knew it was right.

Almost two and a half long years went by before we got the call that B had arrived.  We had pretty much given up hope about adopting a baby thinking that perhaps we had just needed to learn about the process, become less judgemental, or perhaps have a child or future daughter-in-law that would or might have been through the process.  We had almost convinced ourselves that we were okay if it didn't work out.  We knew that we were already blessed with five beautiful boys.

One Monday evening, we received a phone call from the agency saying that a little girl had been born the night before and that we could pick her up on Friday.  We cried and cried at the thought of becoming parents to a little girl.  D and I both got on the phone with our families telling them that we would have a daughter in just four days.  I remember telling my dad and hearing him cry to my mom that we got a girl.  It happened that fast.  This new baby that none of us knew, was one of us.  Immediately we felt that she was our little girl.  We couldn't wait to see her.  To hold her.  To introduce ourselves and then to bring her home.  It was a long three days waiting to see her.  I remember the drive to the hospital and already truly loving her.  I had only known she existed for three days and didn't care what she looked like, I knew she was mine.

I remember the first time I held her there in the hospital.  I told her that her name was B, and that I was her mommy.  I told her that she had a daddy named D and five big brothers.  I dressed her, carefully placed her in her carseat and then took her to meet the family. 

I remember looking at her next to little g, or S when she was a baby and truly not being able to tell which children were my biological children.  They were all mine.  It's truly one of the most miraculous things I've ever seen or been apart of. 

B will be in Kindergarten this next fall.  I look at her and am so grateful that she is a part of our family.  She has dark brown hair and the prettiest brown eyes.  She has a small bone structure.  So no, she doesn't look like either of us.  But....she completes our family!  She sings in front of audiences and she leads the singing every week in FHE.  She is a little mother to S.  She's smart as a whip.  She adds so much to our family that the rest of us don't or can't do.  Of course I'm leaving out tons of details and so many miracles that are a part of our story, but it's important for me to share this with you.

I have a friend that I met over fifteen years ago when she was a young teenager.  She is such a sweet girl with a cute husband and they too are wanting to adopt a baby.   They've been through all the emotions of whether or not to adopt.  They've grieved the possibility of not having their own biological children.  But they are ready, approved and waiting for their phone call.  It's my hope that they too can experience the miracle of having their own family.  It doesn't matter how we become families, just that we do.  I find myself telling little g that every once in awhile. 

Their names are Brian and Amanda and you can see their profiles here.  They have a button on my sidebar.  Learn about them.  Tell your friends and families about them.  Keep your ears open for girls or women that are wanting to place their babies.  Word of mouth is huge!  Help me help them start a family.  It will make me happy!

Adoption.....it's about love.  And it's their turn!!

1 comment:

brian and amanda said...

thank you so much, t!! how beautifully written. you are helping us so much in bringing our babies to our home. love you!