What's good for me

So I know I really put myself out there when I blog to the world or to the four or five people that read this, but it's me. I know it's not everyone's style to be as open as I am.  Sometimes I worry think that some are shaking their heads in unbelief, or embarrassment, or in awe that I might say such things.  The fact that I'm honest and not trying to make it look a "certain" way.  What the heck is a "certain" way anyway?  It's not being real.  I don't run around complaining about my life to every friend, visiting teacher and cashier that I know.  I give the normal, "Good.  How are you?", with a smile because I really want to know, and for the most part, things are always pretty. dar n. good.


This blog is where I can put my thoughts down to read, and re-read over and over again.  Yip, I said it, I read my own blog.  I read some of my own posts several times because they make me happy, they give me strength, I see how I've grown, and I see what kind of a mark I'm leaving.  It makes me want to be better, to do better.  That is, for me and my family.  Not in a "keep up with the Jones'" sort of way.  I'm not into that.  In fact, I'm kind of rebellious when it comes to that kind of thing.


So, I'll keep writing, and posting, reading, and commenting, because that's just what I do.  I'll be lifted up by one friend, and I'll build up another.  There's something to be said about being able to say, "You know what?  I'm kind of struggling right now."  And that's okay! Those are the people that you turn to.  That you cry on their shoulder.  That you confide in.  That you love.  Because of the simple fact that you are dealing with real.


To my dear friends that have been there for me, validated my feelings, encouraged me, supported me, helped me, made me laugh, made me laugh so hard I peed my pants, helped me look for the positive, have shared quotes and thoughts, called me or dropped by, and have really loved me.... I love you.  Thank you.


I'm doing what I like, what seems right, and what's good for me.