I got my hair colored a couple days ago. It's darker than I expected, but I really like it. When B got home from school, she said, "Your hair is dark! It's brown like mine. You look like me. Can I call you B?" I got a huge smile on my face and told her that yes, of course, she could call me B. So she has. She went on to say that we needed matching outfits and that I needed eyes like hers. I told her that that was a great idea. She relished in the fact that she looked like somebody. Somebody in the family.
I've been thinking about it ever since. Whenever I am out with the girls, people always comment about how S and I look alike. And then they go on and on about how B's coloring is so different, and she must look like her daddy and on and on. Sometimes I'll explain and other times I just smile and nod my head hoping that I don't always have to say that she is adopted the rest of her life.
I got dressed up for little g's baptism this morning and S came down the stairs in a dress she likes to wear. I was shocked. I had just purchased my own outfit this past week and it looked so much like S's dress. I told her that B needed to wear that dress today so that B and I could look like twins. With some bribery, she gave in. B put the dress on and I pointed out how we matched each other. We went out back and snapped some pictures of the two of us before we headed out to the baptism.
There she was. My beautiful little girl. We looked like each other. We looked at each other. She wanted to kiss.
After looking at the pictures I recognized my same smile I had the day that I met her. Still so happy and grateful.
I loved looking at her as my "twin" today. I could see the sparkle in her eye as we shared that familiarity. We won't always have the same dark hair or matching outfits. But we can always "look" like each other in our Heavenly Father's eyes. We are both daughters of God and He loves us. I am teaching her to love Him. I am hoping that I can live my life in a way that she will want to emulate. That we can be seen by others as "like each other". She makes me smile and happy. She gives me true joy. I am humbled today that I was trusted to be her mother. I am so grateful.
So happy for my hair that was "too dark" that is absolutely perfect and makes my daughter say, "You look like me!"
ITP-a year later
2 months ago