So, a few weeks ago I hit the wall and said, "Enough is enough! I am SICK of it!!" Just like that. It was time to deal with my pathetic toe joint. Like suck it up and deal with it. The thing kills. Surgery in the future. Anyway...I was sick of excuses for not being "me" and being in shape. I had a hurt toe, feeling fat, anxiety, (it never completely goes away) the list goes on and on.
Well, I've been doing 6-7 work outs a week and eating PERFECTLY! You would have thought it had already been the holidays around here. I can't tell you the temptations that have been in my house, the parties and showers I've been invited to, the parties I've hosted, the guests I've had over for dinner, etc, etc, etc. But I've been strong. Not a morsel of anything!!! And it's paying off. Oh sure, I'll eat yummy things again, but for right now, I'm getting control of my life.
The last few days as I've been out on my runs in the morning, (which have been gorgeous weather) I've noticed how I'm usually the one to greet other runners, walkers, and those out walking their dogs. It got me thinking, wow! I remember when I couldn't even look at someone as I walked past them.
It was in a communications class in college that one of our assignments was to make eye contact with everyone that we walked past for a week. I could NOT do it. I just knew that if I made eye contact with a guy he would think I liked him and heaven forbid he was married. It was all just too embarrassing. Like everything else was back then.
In that same class, we had to give speeches. Oh how I dreaded those. The big bad one was the humorous. I mean, we were all worried sick that our humorous speech wasn't going to be humorous at all. I had my nervous giggle throughout my entire speech. So much so that the professor made me do ANOTHER humorous speech because I hadn't been in control while giving my speech. Not such a funny ending to a supposedly humorous speech. Not just do it again, but an entirely new topic and speech. (I know I said speech way too many times. This is about communications class not English)
I dreaded taking that class and was scared out of my mind. But in the end, I can honestly say that our entire class became really good friends and I looked forward to it.
Almost twenty years later I find myself doing the very assignment that I couldn't do before. I make eye contact or try to at least, with everyone that I pass. Although it's a simple thing now, I remember when it seemed impossible.
I love getting out again, just me, my ipod and I. I love being able to hold up my head and spitting out "good morning" to others as I push through one more workout towards the new me.
If I could see my communications professor again...I'd tell her thank you for that great life lesson and that I've finally done my assignment.
Being in Charge at Two Years Old
5 months ago