Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I thought of you today

We just got back from the park where the little kids and I had a picnic and then played afterwards. While we were there, little g came running up to me and told me that "that little girl's name is _____". I told him to run back and play with her. Just after doing so, I remembered that that is your name. A name I'll cherish forever.

I think of you often actually. I wonder how you're doing. If you're healthy and have what you need. If you're taking care of yourself. I wonder if you wonder how "our" daughter is doing. I wonder if you think about her constantly. Whether or not she's happy, healthy, loved and taken care of.

If you do, the answer is yes. We adore our B, which we have named her. She is just as beautiful as Snow White. She has beautiful brown hair and brown eyes. She proudly wears the Snow White dress that I made for her birthday. She wears it around the house, out in her doll house, for Halloween and I've even let her wear it to the grocery store.

She attends primary now at church. She loves it. She's learning songs and more stories from the scriptures. She reminds us at home to pray at meal time, to read our scriptures and all the things that Jesus said to do or not to do.

She knows that she was adopted. She likes it. I made a special book for her over a year ago. It's her favorite book in the world. She has a picture of you and knows that you are her "Birth momma". She knows of my love for you. We include you in our prayers.

Her daddy and brothers adore her. When I first left the hospital after picking her up, the boys called me and asked all about her wondering what she looked like. I wasn't home half an hour when my oldest son that was almost 15 said, "Mom, I love B so much". I cried and cried as I was witnessing a miracle in our home. We had longed for a daughter. She was our daughter as soon as I received the phone call that she had arrived. To this day, the boys tell me that they can't believe that she was adopted. They say that it seems like she came out of my tummy just like the rest of the kids. I tell you that so that you know how well she has been accepted into our family. She is one of us.

She loves to go to the park. She loves to swim. She likes play dates with all of her little friends. She can't wait to go to Disneyland and see all the princesses.

Her very best friend is her little sister S. They are less than nine months apart. They are so cute together and truly best friends. I'm so glad that she has a sister. Sisters are blessings.

Exactly one year after I picked her up, we took her with our family to the St. George temple and had her sealed to our family for time and all eternity. She still talks about it. She talks of how she was in the temple when she was a baby. She's learning the importance of families and having them be together forever. She loves me to sing "I Love to See the Temple" to her.

Just over a year ago, I had a really spiritual experience with her. I was compiling my thoughts and pictures of an accident I had been through about fourteen years earlier. She saw a picture of just my legs and told me, "Help you mommy. Help you." I asked what she was talking about. She pointed to the picture again and said the same things. I wanted more details from her but she knew nothing more and never spoke of it again. At a certain point after that accident I did have "help". I had wondered who all my help was. I was touched and humbled to know that "our" daughter all those years ago, helped me through something. It's truly miraculous.

Know that I love you. That I think about you. That I'm grateful for you and the decision you made to place B with our family. She is loved, healthy and happy. We cannot imagine our life without her.

So many times I wish that I could write you or send pictures of her. But I respect your decision. I've never been in your shoes so I can't say what I would have done. But know this, I love you. She loves you. And I thought of you today.


aunt jan said...

Print this and put it in B's book. Priceless.

NelsonFamily said...

Thanks as an adopted child I love your reflection. B is so lucky to have two mom's that love her.

Erika said...

That is very sweet. I love how B knows from such a young age so she won't be surprised with it one day. It's just natural and the knowledge of it will be with her from the beginning.