Sunday, September 25, 2011

Keltson's Run with my son

Last Saturday C, the girls and I went to Herriman to run a 5k in honor/memory of my friend's son that passed away almost three years ago.  I thought of sending out the big invite to any girlfriend that might want to jump in my car and go for the weekend like two years ago, but C heard that I was going and wanted to go along.  I decided that I wanted to just enjoy the trip with him seeing how I'm running out of time with him.  Why does it take him leaving on a mission in three months to feel like that?  Anyway, it was good.  Good for several reasons.  

We enjoyed eating places that he wanted to eat.  He wants to get his Italian fix in before it's all rice and beans for the next two years.  I had fun getting him his Flamin' Hot Cheetos to keep him awake while driving.  He looked so handsome in those slacks, white shirts and suits that we picked up at Mr. Mac's for his mission and he swears that he now has the most comfortable shoes out there.  Good.  Hope they last.  

This trip was different than other drives we've been on.  It wasn't just me at the wheel with a teenager in "gunshot" hooked up to his iPod staring out the window.  We talked the entire trip.  It was neat talking to my mature adult son.  We talked about a lot of things.  Growing up, why I think the way I do, A going to homecoming, serving a mission, etc.  

The time spent with my friend and her family was good.  They embraced C and were excited for his mission call.  For months I had been nervous to even talk to them about C's mission knowing that it was in the near future.  I didn't want to be insensitive to their feelings seeing how they lost Keltson just weeks before his mission to North Carolina.  But, there was a peace I felt about taking him with me.  I felt like they would be okay with it and happy for us.  They were, my fears had been dismissed.

The race itself, was the second most physically challenging thing I've ever done.  The course is "hilly" and I was pushing a double stroller with two girls in it.  A good 100 pounds.  The competitive person in me had to run and pass people.  When I was done, I wasn't sure if I wanted to puke, pass out, or collapse on the grass.  C was cute and was cheering me on at the end of the race.  That's a role reversal that was neat.  He introduced me to Popsicles afterwards swearing that they were the best thing after a race.  He was right, they were the best thing after running.  

I've been learning a lot lately about myself.  I've learned that I live in Phychological Time.  That for some reason I live in the future.  You know, the whole "what if?" thing.  They run used to run my life.  But, I can see myself changing and doing better.  I'm learning to live in the present.  The last several months prior to becoming "healthy" I've lived in fear that I might lose C like my friend lost her son.  Trying to look for signs that it might happen.  But, I finally came to terms with myself that just because she lost her son prior to serving his mission, didn't mean that I would lose mine with the same timing.  For me to take C on that trip, was huge to me.  I wasn't living in fear.  I was living in the present and embracing the moment and time with him.  I'm so grateful I've gotten over that.  Seriously, you have no idea.  

It was a good trip, a good time, and good to be back.  C got his passport on Friday.  We're now working on the details for his Visa. I visited with him a lot yesterday.  I love him.  I love the man that he's become.  I love the example he has been for my other children.  I love how he teaches me.  I love you C.

I'm glad I went to Keltson's Run with my son.

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