Saturday, January 28, 2012

What would you do if you had a buck?

This afternoon I looked out the window and saw something.  I was like....What the heck?  Shut up!!
A buck in my very own backyard.  Seriously.

I remember hearing how my dad was a legend in his hunting days (he still is) about how he killed a deer with his bare hands or something really close to that.  So, like I've always done...I thought, hey, if my parents can do it, then I can do it.  So...I raced down the stairs, dress, heels and all and I ran and caught that buck.  

Those hunting instincts kicked in like I never could have imagined.  I threw that thing on  the ground so fast, grabbed him by one antler and a leg and called for G to come wipe him out.  
Done.  Buck with a tag.  
Then G and I put him up on the suburban, and hauled him home.  Coming from a "hunting" family, dad, and sisters, I was elated to be the newest member of the "bring a buck home" club.   

Upon arrival, I called all the kids out to see what mom brought home.  They were all thrilled to jump up on the car with my trophy.  Especially A.  He's just thrilled out of his mind as always.  (He was a mighty good sport since neighbors were watching.  I'm sure.)
While taking the deer off the car, a neighbor whizzed by doing a double take and quickly yanked the car around to see what was going on.  I just explained that I brought home a deer and it did in fact have a tag.  They seemed okay with it.  They liked the idea of this year's Christmas Card with the family on the car with the deer.  I'll have to keep that in mind.
The boys hauled it upstairs only to hear me yell, "Get it down here!  I don't want dad to see it.  It's a surprise."  
That's when they said, "Mom, doesn't dad read your blog?"  So, hi honey, I got a deer.  Not as cute as you dear, but it's a nice one. has a tag that says, "$20" from the Salvation Army.  But with a certain little discount I got it for $16. He does have a broken antler, but I'll figure that out.   I'm going to have so much fun with this thing.  I can't stop thinking about all the cards, and pictures, and stories, and rental prices, and appearances this thing has in it's future.  
Okay, okay, so I planted the thing in my back yard.  I went to the temple this morning, ran to my two favorite thrift stores and as I was in the back of Salvation Army, I saw this beast of a hairy thing and asked while pointing, "What is that?"  The workers started laughing and said that it was dropped off over night.  I hesitated for a minute and asked how much they would sell something like that for.  She told me that they were going to put it out on the floor for $20.  I began giggling harder than I have in a long time (since Oregon with my sister) and told them not to sell it because I was going to buy it.  It started out as a future gag gift but it's awesome.  I giggled and giggled throwing my arms around with so much excitement.  The thought of my family seeing me with a deer.  Knowing that I am the least deery-venison person ever!!  The lady offered to take the deer out to my car for me.  I told her I was fine as long as no one watched me haul out this huge deer with me in my dress.  After paying, I couldn't even stand the thought of touching it.  It's so real.  I kind of held an antler with a couple fingers and began dragging it out on it's feet.  That's when the first worker lady came running toward me offering once again to take the deer out after hearing me say it was "so deery".  I let her.  She lifted him up and put him in the back of the car.  I pulled out of there so excited and giddy at the thought of me having my very own deer.  
So, I did in fact plant him in the back yard waiting for the kids to see him.  Their eyes were big for half a second until they realized that a deer could not in fact get into our backyard.  So, then we had fun taking pictures.  
So, I've told you what I've done and will possibly do with my buck.  The possibilities are endless.  Plus, you'll laugh and giggle like you never have before.  What would you do if you had a buck?

1 comment:

Yadira Lopez said...

hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I see what you were picturing in your head the whole time you're sooo funny! and you know what? it does look real out on the grass....I was thinking about your book this could totally be a chapter. See ya my "deer"!