Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I didn't want to be a "I don't need people-ers"

I'm a __________.  Oh I don't know what I am.

I remember years ago a blogging friend did a post titled, "I'm a plant".  I've remembered it ever since.

Today I've been bored out of my mind almost to tears.  How does a mother of seven get bored?  Boredom has nothing to do with being busy.  I know myself.  Most of the time I'm really independent and don't need much from people.  I remember how dumb I thought it was in high school when friends needed a friend to go with them to get a drink at the drinking fountain.  Seriously?  You couldn't find it yourself at the age of 17?  But then there are times where I realize I want a friend to "go get a drink with me" because I like the friendship aspect of it.

Actually, this reminds me of another friend's post that she just recently wrote.  I felt like I was reading all about myself as I read it.

Today though, and many other days, I need people.  Not to help me out with anything, not needy friends, but just people to hang out with, to talk to, someone to call me.

I feel like I came from the land of and live with "I don't need people-ers".  Which I am definitely not!!  I went to an open house for some friends that are moving away (Who isn't these days?  Stupid economy!) this past Saturday.  I was in heaven.  It was so much fun being "myself" laughing, giggling, and reminiscing about old inside jokes.  I came home to tell D that I needed that.  That I need people.  That's what is weird.  I don't always need them though.

Today I dreamed of the day where I can go get a job.  Where I can interact with people and make them laugh, smile and feel comfortable.

Do you ever wonder if people know you exist?  I'm sorry if you have and I haven't been more in tune to reach out to you.  That's a lonely feeling.  I know I don't reach out to enough people like I should.  But those that I do, kind of wish they would call and see how I'm doing.  But then I have to remember that everyone isn't like me.  I'm dealing with a lot of "I don't need people-ers".

Just had to write down my thoughts for the day.  I'll be better soon.  :)  Perhaps it's because I've been without a car all day, the Olympics are running everyone's lives here, or the over cast day.  Just had to write down my thoughts for the day.  I'll be better soon.  All I know is that today I didn't want to be one of those "I don't need people-ers"!

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