Dear flu

Dear flu,

I'm not the confrontational type, but I feel that I must step up to the plate and do this. We, and I speak for everyone that I know, are sick and tired of your silent bullying. The way that you sneak up on an innocent child in the middle of the night is just down right cowardly. I mean really, it takes a lot of nerve to go after someone that can't speak yet or describe that their tummy hurts.

With all the technology today, the least you could do would be to send an email saying you were on your way. Heck, I'd even take a text. That way I could have the bowls ready, my children next to me, Gatorade in the pantry, and geared up for what lies ahead.

Oh, that's right. You're rude! You don't work that way. You're a coward. You're a bully. You are annoying!

You don't scare me!

I'm patient and I love my children. I don't care what time you decide to hit. I don't complain to them. I clean them. I wash their hair at 4:22 in the morning. I help them brush their teeth to get rid of the vile traces you leave behind. I hold them. I clean up after you.

And just FYI, I have a new washing machine that can get rid of you as soon as I push the start button. He's on my side and we're taking you down.

I know you have unfinished business with my family of nine and that you're still lingering. With my two baby girls down, I'm sure you'll soon hit the boys. Oh but beware, they speak! They know! They'll be close to the bowl!

Bring it on flu, bring it on! Because as soon as we're done with you, I'm kicking you to the curb!!