Following the post I did last Sunday, I found myself not really going to bed that happy. I woke up the next morning only to bawl my eyes out to one of my friends. I had really convinced myself that I wasn't a good mom and that I couldn't do it. She was cute and told me to think about what I had just taught in Relief Society on Prayer. I listened and continued to sob even after she left my home. I was in such despair that I disregarded everything she had said to me and was sure that I truly was the loser mom.
I woke up that morning only to read a post by a friend about her bff starting a blog to record 1000 moments of joy in the next year. I was sceptical. In fact, it lasted for days. All I could do was find myself taking pictures of the edamame scattered all over the table, the bathrooms not thoroughly cleaned, toys everywhere, chalk in the grout lines, etc. My anger continued to grow. I knew that that wasn't a good state to be in. I needed to make some changes. My attitude needed to change.
I found the book, "The Five Languages of Love" at Savers this week. I've heard about it for years. I couldn't wait to get home and glance through it. Well, I quickly took the test to see which language I was. I am acts of service. All of a sudden, I got even more ticked off. "No wonder I'm always ticked off! I don't feel like anyone is speaking my language of love." At that point my thoughts were totally irrational, convincing myself that I never got help. Which is stupid because the kids and D really do help me. In fact, I can't say enough about how good D is to me for letting me go on all my trips, mopping and doing the dishes often, helping with the girls, etc.
As soon as D got home, I asked him to take the test to see what language he was. It turns out that he likes the language of physical touch. I got thinking..."I know dang well that I don't speak that language to him nearly as much as I should, yet, he's not walking around all ticked off." All of a sudden a light went on, (of course I really know what it was) and I decided that rather than getting resentful about my own language, I would give D more of his language. It's been fun. It's made me happier knowing that I'm making him happy and showing him that I love him in the way that he speaks love.
That was a wonderful thing, because not only did I snap out of that, I snapped out of the loser mom thing too.
I looked up some things and found some words of encouragement along with some scriptures. Here's one of them...
"Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones." -- Jeffrey R. Holland
Isn't that beautiful?
I took the 1000 Moments of Joy challenge and it's already making a difference. I enjoy what I see because I'm LOOKING for the good that brings me joy. After all, there is Joy...It's all around me! (check out my new joy blog)
ITP-a year later
2 months ago