My parents will be leaving for an LDS mission to the Dominican Republic in a couple of weeks. I made the trip to hear them both speak in church today. They did a great job. They had many friends and family there to support them.
Over the last few months I've thought about them being gone for eighteen months. I being the oldest of seven children feel a responsibility to watch over my siblings and their families while my parents are gone. My sister pointed it out a while back saying that I would be the "matriarch". I had never thought about that before.
I've shared many personal things lately about my challenges dealing with anxiety. Well, knowing that my mom would be gone and out of the country for a year and a half, really contributed to it. My mom has come to my rescue more than any other of her children. I worried about what I'd do without her. As I've seen myself improve over the last several weeks, the worry has lessened. I'm feeling the mantle and honored that I'm the oldest child. I feel as though I'm in a place where I can help my siblings and that I can make it without my mom rushing to help me. I've believed that it was because of my therapy that I was doing better.
But. . . I should have known better. I admitted to my mom last night that I had had great anxiety about them leaving and worrying about what I'd do without her if something traumatic happened. I then told her that I'm in a place where I'm okay and I know I can do it. She then told me that she had been praying for months that her children would be okay to let her go. That's when it dawned on me that I have been an answer to my mom's prayers. She then went on to say that the blessings of them serving a mission were already taking place. I'm clinging to that promise. I know we'll be blessed.
My dad pulled me aside just before I headed home today and asked if I'd like a Father's blessing. I told him yes. As I sat beneath my father's hands, I received a beautiful blessing. A blessing just for me. A blessing where it was evident that my Heavenly Father knew the secret pleadings of my heart. With my Heavenly Father, I can watch over my family and we will feel the blessings as our parents serve the Lord.
Hello!
5 years ago
5 comments:
I have a very close relationship with my mom too... it's still awesome your parents have chosen to serve a mission.
I loved having you come up for their talk and visit at our home. We'll have to keep the gatherings going when they are gone. What a great idea about getting a Father's Blessing. I think I will do the same.
That's great! I'm glad you are feeling better. You will be fine without them. You have a great support team.
You're so amazing. I'm so glad I got to see you on Sunday. Your parents will be incredible missionaries, and your family will be blessed while they're gone, as you have already seen.
I'm a poor substitute, but I can play "mom" whenever you need me. We're in this altogether. All for one and one for all. I think someone else famous said that....
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